Here’s my royal gift to whoever loves me in cyberspace: a special recipe. I want all of you to get off to a good start this year. (And no, it’s not from my personal ultra secret ultra Southern cookbook. If you want that, you’ll have to come over to my house.) By the way—like Big Momma ‘n them, I don’t really measure anything. Whatever’s in the instructions is approximate, not exact.

One bag of black eyed peas, any brand at all

Olive oil (preferably extra virgin)

Bay leaf

Scallions

Garlic

One large yellow onion

Black Pepper

Molasses or honey

Here’s an interesting tidbit: Although black eyed peas got here through the African slave trade, they are from Asia—just like that other quintessentially Southern object of my desire, kudzu.

Take a large pot with a secure lid and fill it with something like at least 6 quarts of water with a long dollop of extra virgin olive oil for flavor. Slice into the onion and garlic lengthwise to open them up a bit and then put them in whole. Cover this and let all of it come to a rolling boil.

Queen Esther Suggestion #1: Use lots of garlic. It’s good for you.

You should have sorted your peas for pebbles and random bits of filth and debris the day before and soaked them in a bowl. (Don’t just open the bag and toss it in the pot. Hey—you can’t be too sure, especially nowadays.) If you didn’t, don’t worry about it. Just take out another pot, fill it with water, boil the peas for two hours, then rinse them in icy cold water and you’re good to go.

Queen Esther Suggestion #2: Use a crock pot. Put enough water in it to keep it from drying out, put it on low and skip out of the house. If you’re anything like me, you don’t have time for anything else.

If you’re not a vegan, now is the time to toss in the meat: bacon, ham hocks, whatever. If you can’t take the oink, use turkey wings—whatever tweaks your speakers, as long as it’s smoked.

Add the scallions along with the black eyed peas, turn down the heat and let it simmer for awhile. Vegans should add finely chopped fresh basil and a bit of fresh tarragon and all of you must add one nice sized bay leaf. If you’ve got a pot, you’ll have to watch it carefully, so you can keep adding water to prevent scorching or sticking. If you’ve got a crock pot, add water, put it on low and you’re free to go. After about 20 minutes or so, add a dollop of molasses or honey if you feel like it and at least one tablespoon of black pepper whether you feel like it or not. Salt to taste. (You should know that some people like to stick this dish in the oven in a roasting pan or dutch oven right about now to complete the cooking process, but I’m just not that kind of party. Unless, of course, I’m making rice.)

If you did this right, it ought to be more like soup, not stew. There should be enough for anyone who wants to share the luck with you.

(If you don’t like this recipe, here’s two others: Hoppin’ John and another one with chard for vegans. No matter what you make, make something. And bon appetit.)